Hime-sama and her big book of crack pairings
by xXSakura-Hime-SamaXx
Summary: (Unconnected drabbles) As a challenge to myself, I tried to pair Sakura up with a random background character and make it work. Apparently it caught on so here, have some drabbles!
1. Chapter 1

_**Just for those who don't know, Kouji is a character that first appears during a filler episode, mostly in 406 so far. If you visit my tumblr or look at the tags, I'm sure you'll get a good idea at what he looks like and who he is.**_

_**Also again, these are unconnected oneshots!**_

* * *

The earth shook underneath him again as the small girl struck at her opponent, the other Kunoichi only just getting out of the way in time. Kouji sat in a daze, watching aptly as the two seemed to dance around each other in the arena, the pinkette the sole focus of his attention.

Everything she did, every move she made seemed to flow into the next, her hands occasionally glowing a bright green as she healed up any blows her opponent got in.

And in all honesty, Kouji had never seen something more captivating.

Sure, he'd been harbouring a rather large crush on the pinkette since he'd first spoken to her earlier in the exam, but he'd figured it would just go away after a while, that it was due to the fact that she was new- refreshing to be around.

But no, no it hadn't gone away.

The feeling had grown, was _still_ growing, and even now he could feel his cheeks warm at the sight of her, feel his body humming with joy as she danced around her opponent with ease. He'd never felt this much happiness at someone else's accomplishments before, had never expected to be cheering for a Konoha nin of all people- but here he was, doing just that without a second thought.

"Do you think she'll get promoted?" His teammate asked from his left, her brown hair ruffled from the aftershocks rattling the area due to the pinkettes strikes.

"Without a doubt." And wasn't that the truth. He was certain she'd get promoted after this, especially with how quickly she was wearing down her opponent.

"CHA!" And the match was over, the pinkette standing victoriously over the other nin, her smile wide as she looked around the area, a faint sadness dulling her eyes as all she got were a few scattered applause from fellow Konoha nin.

Nope, she wasn't allowed to be sad at a time like this, especially due to the assholes sitting around them.

"GO SAKURA!" He roared, a large smile coming to his face as he jumped up from his seat, he and his team the only ones making a ruckus in the crowd as the polite clapping surrounding them faltered slightly. "KICK ALL THEIR ASSES!"

The pinkette whipped around to face them properly, her eyes wide and her mouth pulling into a large grin as she laughed loudly, waving at him excitedly.

"YOU KNOW I WILL, JUST WATCH ME!"

And she would, he knew she would.

He'd fought her before after all, and he knew just how strong she was.

Gods, she was amazing.

"I'LL EVEN TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER IF YOU DO, OKAY?!" Oh. Oh _shit_. Did he really just scream that out?!

He could see her blush from here, and he had to wonder if she could see his own after he realized what he'd just screamed.

If her blond teammate's loud laughter was anything to go by, he knew she could.

"Jeez Kouji, announce your infatuation to the world why don't you?" The brunette next to him sighed, yanking him back to sit down next to her once she realized he'd embarrassed himself in front of hundreds. "That's not how you win a lady over dumbass, learn some tact."

The only reply she got was incoherent mumbles as he hid his bright red face in his hands.

"RAMEN, AND YOU BETTER NOT SKIP OUT ON THE BILL KOUJI!"

'_Oh god,'_ he thought to himself, her reply echoing around his ears as she made her way back to her teammates, his head never lifting from his hands. '_I think I'm in love.'_


	2. Chapter 2

"You did your best and that's all that matters Kouji." Sakura reassured the quiet boy, scooting closer to him as he sighed into his meal.

"I know, I know, it's just…I really wanted to get that promotion, you know?"

The reason he'd wanted to get to chunin so badly happened to be sitting right next to him, her soft smile already eating away at his bad mood, his dark eyes falling closed as he savoured her company.

He'd wanted that promotion so badly, because without it, there was no chance in hell he'd get anywhere near Konoha until the _next_ exam or mis-ranked mission. How was he meant to woo the girl next to him if he couldn't visit her? Letters could only go so far after all…

"Hey, just look on the bright side- I can come visit _you_ now! Well, whenever a mission drags me into the middle of the desert anyway."

Her gloved hand come to rest on his bare shoulder briefly, and he had to fight as hard as he could to keep the shiver racking his body discrete.

Gods he loved her…everything about her.

Honestly, he'd never expected something like this to happen, especially not in such a short time period.

It'd only taken two months.

_Two months_ of her laughs, her bright personality and odd looks. Just a few weeks of being in her charming company…

And now he was helplessly in love with her, and had no idea how to go about doing anything about it.

He wanted to stay with her, sweep her off her feet and just…just be with her. For as long as he could.

"You'll…you'll let me know next time you're near Suna, right? I'd hate to miss the chance of seeing you again." Kouji questioned, his lips pulling into a smile as he thought about showing her around his home village.

She'd love it there, he just knew she would.

"Of course! And hey, just remember that it's only a few months until your next shot, okay? I'll be there cheering you on as well!"

"I'd like that. Thank you Sakura, for going out of your way like this."

She just laughed, her hand moving off his arm as her shoulder bumped against his own.

"That's what friends are for silly, now, let's finish lunch- I think I have a meeting with Tsunade later and I can't miss it just because you take forever to do anything."

"Hey, I do not!" Gods he wished he could just stay like this. He didn't want to go back to Suna tomorrow. "Sakura?"

"Hmmm?" Just as she turned to look at him, he did it.

Leaning towards her, he quickly tilted his head to the side, his lips falling against her own softly.

His kiss was innocent, quick, but he'd never forget how soft her lips felt against his, or how the faint taste of her remained on the tip of his tongue for hours afterwards.

His first kiss…more than likely hers as well.

"I really like you Sakura," He grinned then, her flustered face and incoherent stutters boosting his confidence slightly. "And I'll never forget you. If something comes up and we don't see each other again for a while, just know that I won't forget you okay? I won't forget you, and I swear I'll sweep you off your feet the next time we cross paths."

"K-Kouji..."

"And that, little Miss chunin, is a promise."


	3. Chapter 3

With a loud sigh, the man next to her dropped to the ground, his back leaning against the rock behind them as they both sought some shelter from the searing heat.

"Honestly, you'd think I'd be used to this heat by now. What kind of Suna nin am I?" He sulked slightly, his light brown hair just as ruffled as ever as he tried to enjoy a few minutes of peace.

"One with excellent taste in shoes?" Sakura replied, her eyes cracking open just a fraction as she whipped the sweat from her brow, her amused smile drawing a chuckle from him as he eyes their near matching footwear.

"Hmmmm. Can't deny that I guess, especially when the lovely young lady next to me has a pair of her own. I think you have my gloves too actually. I'm not too sure, but they might have gotten mixed up during the rush at lunch again."

Taking a moment to flex her fists, she felt the excess fabric shift, her lips pulling into a grin as she hummed lightly in response, already knowing that it was no use to swap back now- this would be the fifth time in three days it'd happened.

They needed to colour code their gloves or something, because it was starting to get a little ridiculous.

"Hey, I was wondering…" He started, lifting his arms so he could tuck his hands behind his head comfortably, his face peaceful as they both enjoyed the silence around them. "Once this is over, can I take you out for dinner? I've been meaning to ask for a while, but things just keep coming up."

"W-What?!" Stuttering as her eyes snapped open, the pinkette turned her attention to him, her eyes wide in disbelief.

"You know, _dinner_. You eat it at the end of the day?"

"I know what dinner is damn it! I just- _what_?!"

Looking at her curiously, his dark eyes took in her flustered expression, his mouth quirking into a grin as he raised a brow at her in question.

"What, hasn't anyone ever asked you out before?"

Her blank look was all the answer he needed.

"Are you serious? No one's ever asked you on a date before?" Another blush, and he just couldn't help himself. "What about your first kiss- because if you haven't had that, I'd be _more_ than happy to remedy the situation right now."

"KOUJI, I'LL SLAP YOU BACK TO SUNA, I SWEAR I WILL!"

"I'll take that as a _'No, Kouji, I haven't had my first kiss, please feel free to steal it for yourself~'_"

"…You…Y-"

Oh, he wouldn't have guessed that she tasted like strawberries.


	4. Chapter 4

Number one medic.

Strongest Kunoichi in the world.

Head of Konoha hospital- _when she had time._

Gods, if Kouji heard about that pink haired monster one more time, he'd throw a fit. Ever since she'd arrived, it was always_ Sakura-sensei_ this, or _Haruno-sama_ that.

He couldn't stand it, couldn't hear about it anymore, didn't _want_ to.

Now he didn't have anything against the woman personally, just the…Alright, he was jealous.

He was jealous of someone he'd never even met in person.

His whole career had been hard won, he'd fought for everything he'd accomplished and now this woman just shows up and his much anticipated mission goes to her?

No.

No, that was _not_ okay.

Kouji didn't come from a clan, he didn't have a Kekkei genkai to help him along, and he didn't have the best track record as a child.

But that didn't mean they could just throw him away and let this old Konoha nin take his place on _his_ mission.

Composing himself and trying to tidy his hair slightly before entering the office, the tall young man took a deep breath and knocked on the door before him, eager to give the woman a piece of his mind.

_THUMP_

"Come in!" A slightly frazzled voice called, confusing the dark haired man for a moment.

Maybe it was her assistant?

Pushing open the large door, his mind stalled, the flustered young woman sprawled out on the floor before him obviously not what he was expecting.

She was flushed, pulling herself to her knees as she gathered her paperwork with a sheepish look, trying to avoid his wide eyed stare while also trying to appear professional.

"Sorry about that, I wasn't expecting anyone and you startled me…." She trailed off with an embarrassed laugh, one hand coming to her head to tuck a few strands of-

_Bright pink hair_ behind her ear.

_Pink._

As in-

"Are you…Haruno-san?" Kouji questioned, his stunned gaze never leaving her as she put the last of the papers back on her desk, her form turning towards him as she did so.

"Yep, that would be me! Just call me Sakura though, no need for any formality."

A cheery smile graced her young face, and the image he'd composed of what she may look like completely shattered with it.

This wasn't a grumpy old woman, or a buffed up training freak- hell, even the superior look he was expecting wasn't there.

Instead, it was a soft looking young woman, barely out of her teens by the looks of it. She was…she was beautiful, and the way she held herself just spoke of relaxed kindness.

Nope, _not_ what he was expecting.

"I-uh-_The mission_. The mission Kazekage-sama gave you yesterday-" Her face lit up then, her hands coming together in front of her as she grinned up at him.

Gods, he _towered_ over her.

Why did the Kazekage think giving her that mission was a good idea?! That area of Suna wasn't a place for someone that soft looking, they'd eat her alive!

"Oh! Are you Kouji?"

"…yes?"

"I'm very sorry about the mix up, after I heard you were assigned first, I had Gaara put you back on. I know how pissy I get when someone steals a mission from me, and I can only assume you felt the same right?"

"I-what?"

She just laughed, the light sound filling the room as he struggled to understand _why_ she was giving him the mission without a fight.

"You're back on your mission. Sorry about the mix up, I hope I didn't cause you any trouble."

"Good. Good! Yep, ahahahah, no trouble at all- thank you for your time I'll be going now!"

And like that he was gone, his bright red face hidden under his bangs as he fled from the confused girl, his tall form disappearing down the hall before she could even ask what was wrong.

Slamming his back hard against the wall as he turned the corner and came to a stop, Kouji gave no attention to the exasperated nurses walking by, their amused looks going completely over his head. Bringing a hand up to his face, he hid his flaming cheeks, an embarrassed groan leaving his tall form as he slumped in on himself slightly.

On gods, she was not what he expected, and he'd just gone and made a fool of himself in front of her.

Damn it all.

How could he be mad at her now? She looked like she'd break if he even glared at her!

What the hell, why was he so damn flustered?!


	5. Chapter 5

"Kouji, are you sick or something, your face is all red."

_It's because you're so close to me damn it!_

"No it's not, just tell me what to do already." He responded, head turned away from the pinkette sitting _practically in his lap_ as she readied yet another scroll to show him something simple.

"You sure? We can take a break if you'd like, I don't mind."

_No, no don't leave!_

"NO! I'm fine, just keep going."

"Okay then…so, what you need to do is-"

Absentmindedly listening to her, Kouji found his attention more on the way her lips looked than what they were saying. So supple and soft looking, and the faint shine told him she was wearing that gloss her friend had insisted on buying for her back in Suna.

The one that…_uhh_…_may_ have a certain plant based chemical in it that he didn't have the heart to tell her about.

Seriously, who could tell the girl they liked that her friend had tricked her into getting a lip gloss that happened to be a powerful aphrodisiac for men when ingested? She was walking around wearing something that _could_-if _he_-if_ they_-_gahhhhhhhhh._

"Kouji, are you sure you're alright, you're all red and-"

"I'M NOT BLUSHING DAMN IT! JUST TELL ME ABOUT THE THINGY WITH THE HAND GLOWY AND AND…just…I…hnnnnnnnngggg." Little more than a twitching mess now, Kouji picked up his glass and took as drink, eyes clenched shut as he tried to get his mind off his crush.

"Uhhh, Kouji? That's my glass…." Sakura muttered out, looking at him oddly as he froze in place, jerking the cup away as he looked at the rim of it in pure horror.

Oh.

Oh _god_ no.

"Jeez, couldn't you tell? This stuff Ino got me gets on everything."

"I...I _need_ to go." He hurriedly spoke, eyes still locked on the offending object before him, his gaze still laced with horror. "I_ have_ to-"

"Nope! Oh no you don't, I cleared my entire day to teach you this, and you're not getting out of it alive!"

Good, because he felt like he could just about curl up in a hole and die right about now.

And she'd gladly dig it for him if she knew what was about to happen.

"-Kouji, what's the matter?"

Oh god, what would she _think_?! Would she call him a pervert and kick him out, never talk to him again?! What if he just told her about the gloss and what it'd do and- no, no then she'd get mad about him for letting her wear it around.

Yep.

There was no way to win here.

He'd just have to play dumb and hope she didn't notice.


	6. Chapter 6

She couldn't do it, she wasn't strong enough to heal him.

After _years_ of training, it all failed her right when she needed it most.

Feeling his hands move to cover her own lightly, Sakura opened her watery green eyes, the tears on her face falling to hit his vest as he grinned up at her, completely ignoring the blood he'd just smeared on her skin.

"Hey now, no need to cry. We won, and I'm just happy you're…I'll take you out to dinner again, alright?"

"Kouji…Kouji please don't move."

He didn't listen, instead shifting to lay his head in her lap, looking up at her like he wasn't bleeding out all over her. His eyes were dull, yet still so happy as he just watched her, his grin never faltering as he gazed up at her like she was life itself.

"And? I've always wanted to take you out to dinner again. Last time, you looked so down, what with your teammates being well…" he coughed lightly, looking away sheepishly when he ended up with a mouthful of blood. "Remember way back when we first met and I just couldn't stop making a fool of myself? Well, I used to have the biggest crush on you. I still do actually, but I think it's a little more than just a crush now. I just…"

"Please…please don't say that. Kouji-"

"Hey, I'm the one dying here, so shhh and let me babble on about how beautiful I've always thought you were. God, it was so weird when I was younger, I just didn't know what to do. And that kiss? You thought I was just messing around due to the spiked meal we'd gotten. It wasn't, but I just didn't have the heart to tell you."

"_If you can keep rambling on like this, then you can last until the backup team gets here! _Just…Kouji _please_ don't leave me._"_

"I'm sorry, I just don't think I can. I'm so tired." He looked it too, his face having gone pale as his life slowly seeped from him, staining her lower half red as she cupped his chees in her palm, feeling just how cold he was becoming.

Why, why didn't she have enough chakra to help him?! If she'd just avoided that attack, they'd be fine, safe, happy-

_Oh god._

"I love you, you know that's what I'm dancing around, right?"

"Y-yes. You were my first kiss-"

"Strawberries. You tasted like strawberries."

"My first date, you were the first person to actually flirt with me and mean it and I had the biggest crush on you too."

He was silent then, his hooded eyes never leaving her as he nuzzled against her palm, a sigh of content leaving him.

He…he was acting, she could tell. He was ignoring the obvious pain racking his body, and acting like…

Like he was just_ tired._

Like he was just going to take a nap in her lap like all those times before. Her lap was his go to pillow after all.

"S-still do actually."

"Damn. If I'd...if I'd have known that, I would have-" he stopped her, his eyes falling shut for a moment, only opening again after she frantically tapped his cheek, pleading with him to stay awake. "I'm tired Sakura. So tired."

"I know you are Kouji, but-"

"Just let me sleep. I'm…I'm happy, and the woman that I love is here and your lap has always been so comfortable, have I told you that before?"

"…yes."

She couldn't stop crying and as much she wanted to, it was a useless effort.

She couldn't act to save her life.

"I'll just…I'll sleep. I'll go to sleep happy and content and I'll always be smiling Sakura." His own eyes misted over then, a small sob leaving him as he fought to keep his wavering grin in place. "I wish I'd known…that you liked me. If I had, maybe we could have-No. No, you know what?"

"W-what?" she managed out, biting her lip hard enough to draw blood, trying to silence whatever sobs she could as he spoke in a whisper, all the energy leaving his voice as he fought to keep from breaking down.

"I'm happy with things like this. I'm just….I'm…I'm happy, and I got to be with you for years, and it was so much fun. I wouldn't trade that for the world."

"Me either."

"Now I'm going to sleep. I'm going to sleep and when we meet up next, I'll take you out to dinner."

"Ramen?"

"As always."

He nuzzled into her lap then, her hands instinctively moving to stroke his hair as he sluggishly lifted one of his arms.

"Sakura?" She hummed in response, unable to see through her tears properly as he lifted his fingers to his lips. "I love you."

Gently, he kissed his fingertips, dragging the blood stained digits up to rest on her own for a moment.

She tasted copper, and the tiniest hint of some foreign spice.

"_Goodnight."_

"G-Goodnight Kouji."

And then he fell silent, his arms resting over his wound, his breath slowing as he fell into a deep and near instant sleep.

A painless one, she was sure.

Her hands never stopped stroking his hair, not even when his breath stopped coming, not when his heart beat its last beat, and not when her body racking sobs almost made her faint.

No, she just kept playing with his hair, and he kept smiling.

Just like all those times before.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kouji X Sakura**

* * *

Kouji couldn't even remember the name of the movie, but as the two main characters finally kissed, he couldn't contain the happy expression that filtered across his face.

Much to the amusement of Sakura, who had gotten bored halfway through and decided to focus on her date instead of the movie.

And oh, what a good decision that had been.

She'd honestly never seen the man beside her teary eyes before tonight, but when one of the main characters declared their love for the other- only to be turned down, the waterworks had begun…albeit very subtly, as he'd excused himself to the bathroom in hopes she wouldn't see.

She loved Kouji, she really did.

…That wouldn't stop her from teasing him light-heartedly about this for the next few months though.

Barely even paying attention to the credits as they began to roll across the screen, Sakura leaned over and kissed the taller man on the cheek, her lips lingering for a moment as she giggled lightly.

"So…uh, did you like it? I mean, if you didn't we can find something else for movie nights, but-"

"No, I loved it." Sakura answered before he could talk his mood down, a reassuring smile on her face as relief crossed his own. "We could watch the sequel, if you have time tonight anyway."

"_I have time!_ -_**Cough**_\- I mean, sure, if you're that excited for it~"

He wasn't fooling anyone, especially with the way he practically rushed to get the next disk in the dvd player.

Her boyfriend was a sucker for Rom-Coms…

Adorable.


	8. Chapter 8

**Kouji X Sakura Youtuber/tumblr famous AU**

* * *

While as composed as ever on the outside, the young man was screaming inwardly freaking out.

Yes, he was a total fanboy, but he had more dignity than to just…

"And…uhh…I just…can I-what?"

Great.

"Geeze Kouji, if that's how you normally talk, it's a wonder any of your videos ever get released." The pinkette teased light-heartedly, a soft look in her eyes as she sat down next to him.

Actually sat next to _him_ of all people.

Oh god, _don't_ freak out.

Don't make a fool of yourself Kouji-

"I love you, they're funny-YOUR POSTS I MEAN! I LOVE YOUR _POSTS-NOT YOU! Uhh,_not that you're not lovable or anything or that I don't love you_-LIKE YOU!-_"

"Uhhh….thank you?"

"Oh god, _I'm so sorry_." Cheeks flaming red as snickers broke out around their shared table, Kouji buried his face in his hands, already dreading the videos that would be popping up online.

A soft giggle broke out beside him, and he groaned as he heard her blond friend mutter to herself.

He'd never live this down.

"I Love your channel as well, I watch your videos all the time." He paused for a moment, her words sinking in slightly before he parted his fingers and looked at her sideways through them.

She was smiling, a light blush on her cheeks as his fans continued to watch them, phones and cameras still out.

"Can I have you for lunch-FUCK!" More laughter and he just planted his face on the table before them. "Take you to lunch. Can I take you out for lunch after this, as an apology for the shit storm this'll become?"

"Sure, but maybe you shouldn't ask me that while your mic's still on. We are still in the middle of a panel after all."

Fuck.

Oh well, at least she'd said yes.


End file.
